tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post6149515463889811064..comments2023-10-20T14:57:09.447+02:00Comments on Paris Déjà Vu: American vs. French Parenting: Don’t Throw Bébé Out With the BathwaterPaigehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05777428548325449024noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post-9858522312551505862012-04-24T20:33:22.474+02:002012-04-24T20:33:22.474+02:00Well, I am very late to this party but I felt comp...Well, I am very late to this party but I felt compelled to respond to this excellent post. I have not read this parenting book but have seen many articles and reviews. Yours has been the most realistic and even-handed critique I have seen to date. I'm getting a little weary of the multitude of books written by ex-pats who delight in pointing out all the "short-comings" of our culture vs. the culture from country "x" in which they have chosen to reside. Of course there are going to be differences. But to place one method above another and declare it better seems a bit too simplistic for me. Since I have not read the book, I will not condemn it. It could be the fault of the hype-machine surrounding it's promotion. But I much prefer your approach that compares and contrasts the methods and more importantly, digs deeper and reveals the cultural sources that are the basis for why the French approach child-rearing one way, while we approach it another. Neither is right or wrong...merely different for various cultural, historical, and practical reasons. Thank you for this excellent post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post-59603799160070181372012-03-16T13:05:45.580+01:002012-03-16T13:05:45.580+01:00Heather - Forgive my late reply to your wonderful ...Heather - Forgive my late reply to your wonderful comment. I am so grateful that my NYT piece touched you and that you have made such brave choices for your own life and for your children. They are so fortunate that you were able to realize the scary road that lay ahead and make changes for a sober life. What a gift to them. I wish you much luck, serenity and joy on your journey!Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05777428548325449024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post-59851168974236827592012-03-16T13:02:26.837+01:002012-03-16T13:02:26.837+01:00Bonjour - I have never heard that term, "l...Bonjour - I have never heard that term, "l'enfant roi" but I have no doubt that there are many situations where it applies perfectly. I agree with you that there is certainly no "best" or even better style of parenting - there are only differences and interesting reasons for them. That, for me, is what's worth exploring: how and why our cultures are different and what we can all learn from one another. It's what makes life here rich and rewarding for me. Thanks for commenting!Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05777428548325449024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post-38961517471398046012012-03-16T12:59:06.700+01:002012-03-16T12:59:06.700+01:00Hi Annabelle - A belated thanks; so glad you liked...Hi Annabelle - A belated thanks; so glad you liked this post and the blog. Since arriving in Paris with my kids, there are few topics I think about more than how parenting differs here and in the U.S. When the book hit the publicity trail (and did it ever!), I couldn't resist adding my two centimes. Thanks again!Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05777428548325449024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post-48672656333935990492012-03-15T15:02:49.100+01:002012-03-15T15:02:49.100+01:00Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a cha...Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance! I have a question about your blog. HeatherVonsj(at)gmail(dot)comHeatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07957437718840848185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post-51551284803468614042012-02-21T14:03:08.914+01:002012-02-21T14:03:08.914+01:00So interesting. It seems there are things that wou...So interesting. It seems there are things that would be best changed in both cultures and things that are good about both. I always wish we could spend more time seeing the best parts and less time judging what we see as failures simply because it's different then how we do it. ("we" being humans, I guess) But I suppose this is a Pollyanna view. heh. <br /><br />I'm also here because I came over from the NYT article and wanted to say thank you. I'm a mother in recovery, who used to live inside the view that I could keep my freedom and fun, claim my me time with wine, etc....and that spiraled out of control coupled with the pressures of isolated parenting and anxiety, etc. I quit drinking over two years ago and each night, I whisper over my sleeping kids--I promise you. I wanted to quit because I saw ahead, on the road I was traveling and I knew I would end up leaving my children. I'm so sorry you lost your mom and once again, I thank you for your well-written and important article.NLS 1993https://www.blogger.com/profile/13459019064975338207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post-9470377126246396922012-02-20T04:34:56.846+01:002012-02-20T04:34:56.846+01:00I am waiting for the book to arrive! I find the wh...I am waiting for the book to arrive! I find the whole topic quite interesting. I suppose I am quite the American mom, lol. I take my 4 children (all under age 6) to multiple activities each day, and I am the Maman taxi. But I enjoy it. I don't think the French tend to have such large families. Maybe if they were stuck in an apartment in Paris (with no toys in the living room), with 4 kids under 6, they'd break out the snacks and start driving the kids everywhere before everyone went crazy!Bethany Snyder-Morsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08654542566720395543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post-41582790865598232272012-02-15T18:29:02.270+01:002012-02-15T18:29:02.270+01:00You have made some very good points. But there is...You have made some very good points. But there is no "best". If only we could take the good of each and make "one" better...<br />However, there is one trait I find most unattractive in some American or Anglo-Saxon children and that I know the French find most appalling. It is their sense of entitlement. <br />A touch of solidarity would be most welcome and maybe we would hear the term "l'enfant roi" (French reference to some American children) less often.labergerebasquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04057578832231849332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post-38318606143759383722012-02-15T15:08:52.192+01:002012-02-15T15:08:52.192+01:00I, too, thank you for this. There are many things...I, too, thank you for this. There are many things that I admire about my French friend's who are parenting. But I find other things jarring--such as the frequency of spanking or the rigidity of the school system. Where we might learn from the French is in the parental supports (such as day care) and feeding. There is also a great deal the French might learn from us about a more democratic model of parenting.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04326882952798119549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615835669512085965.post-87452081316327502072012-02-14T21:24:01.606+01:002012-02-14T21:24:01.606+01:00Wow! Standing ovation! You have articulated perf...Wow! Standing ovation! You have articulated perfectly what I have been thinking about this topic. I haven't read the book yet, but I couldn't quite put my finger on why our parenting is different, only that both parenting styles deserved their merits and drawbacks. Thanks, my brain feels better now :-) Your blog is terrific!Annabellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01580582264627402714noreply@blogger.com